1. |
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Falling in love with someone on the tv for the 3rd night this week
think im broken desperate for connection but its just too much to take
I dont wanna feel good
I dont wanna feel better
I dont wanna feel this
Whatever chance I had is over
Everywhere I look I see people together I know it can’t happen for me
Too hard to love, and undeserving I am made up of inadequacies
I dont wanna feel good
I dont wanna feel better
I am too trapped in the misery to change
i dont wanna feel good
I dont wanna feel better
Too afraid to let myself believe I could be loved
Completely
Awkwardly
Loved
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2. |
Done Believing You
02:52
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You say when I cry it makes you feel shit
That its not your fucking problem to deal with
But im not looking for an answer I just need a hug
No I dont want resolution I just want some warmth
But I think you’re looking for an echo chamber
Think you’re looking for someone who smiles no matter what you do
Baby im not gonna be that for you
So you can go out and find something better
Tell me im too unwell to be loved by anyone thats cool
But I think I might be done believing you
You say when im sad you can feel it
But it was never even sadness to begin with
Desolated by a disease I dont understand
You say I need to get a grip can you just hold my hand?
Everything gets to me
Always known who I am
No lack of empathy
Im filled way past the brim
Told you about all my fears
You said you understood
You said you understood
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3. |
Anything Else
03:29
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I feel guilty all the time
A disappointment I am useless
I just can’t seem to find a reason to be kind
to myself I shout I scream you will never be
anything else than the person you already see
Can’t help but feel
That this one might not be for me
Can’t help but feel
And it seems like I can never sleep
Constantly fixed on a new worry
I lie awake at night between tears trying to find a way to survive
And I know that you would tell me different
But I feel like I’m the biggest burden
Wish I could find something that I didn’t hate
Wish I could make all of this just go away
But I’m here again
Trapped in my head
Chest empty but aching
I’m here again
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4. |
Wish You Were Sober
02:19
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I dont wanna go to the pub
You only wanna hang out if you can get drunk
Sick of cancelled plans cause you’re feeling hungover
Sick of cans cans cans ill never fit in with ya
Can I have a minute?
Think ive had my limit
Of Lime and Soda
Wish you were sober
You tell me things you won’t remember the next day
You open up to me then its fuck I was so drunk what did I say?
A heart to heart turns into nothing ever happened
I wanna get to know you but I feel like im battling
Can I have a minute?
Think ive had my limit
Of do I know ya?
Wish you were sober
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5. |
Rest
02:39
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How did I end up here?
In this room that isn’t mine
I can hear someone crying through the wall
Im terrified
They wanna know what im feeling
Wanna know what I can see
If I tell them then that might make it real
Its already so real to me
Easy to say I dont belong here
Easy to say that im different im just stressed
I know they can see it in my eyes
Maybe I need a rest
Easy to say I dont belong here
But im fucked and im broken at my best
I know they can see it in my eyes m
Maybe I need a rest
Think that ill be here a few days
Out by the end of the week
No its nothing serious
Dont look at me like that
Suddenly its 3 weeks later
And they still think I need time
Think that I might have to face up to it
Im not fine
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6. |
Keep Me Quiet
02:49
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Every little bit of me wants to fall into you
Can hear you talking on the phone in the other room
It’d seem so easy to just take things back a few weeks
When we weren’t talking
When you were pretending
That you ever loved me
But I still love you
Even though you dont deserve it
And you just wanted to
Yeah you just wanted to
Keep me quiet
Keep me tired
Keep me not seeing who you really are
You won’t have a conversation so fuck it
Im sick of being
The emotion to your logic
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7. |
Where You Wanted Me
02:30
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Everything I ever thought was true
Reflected back at me through your words
Incapable unloveable irrational
I know I know I am
On the edge of the world exactly where you wanted me
Too much is all that I can hear
You’re too much of everything
You broke me
You really know how to manipulate my insecurities
You broke me
But I can’t help but tell my friends everythings good its nothing
Starting to see the way you change your face you change your voice
When other people are around you
And I think I see a glimpse
Of someone that I thought was real
Someone that I thought I knew
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8. |
Something To Miss
03:14
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Ive been waiting for something to miss
Ive been searching for some new pain to exist
But im empty chronically
That is what they said to me
Wish I could say ive not felt like this before
Like nothing fills me up or keeps me warm
But it always leaves me feeling the same
Too much or not enough
And im tired of fighting
Cause when I look into the mirror all i see is just a blank space
When I catch my reflection I just wanna look away
Ive tried finding it in someone to kiss
By taking sharp things to my body and cutting it
is there something bigger out there?
Can you send me a sign?
Cause I dont think im really quite alive
Are my insides rotting down and away?
Cause I wouldn’t need them in this state anyway
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9. |
Melt
02:58
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Well im sick and im tired of all these thoughts in my head
my biggest enemy is me ever since day one just like she says
And the things that I feel
They dont need no evidence
Ill just decide that its real
Im a burden and im a disappointment
And im breaking at the seams again
Well I’m sick and I’m tired of all these things I can hear
You tap me on the shoulder I turn around there’s nothing there
My mind is full it’s spilling out melt through the walls and close them in
I see my face in yours
It’s what I’m hiding from
I see my face in yours
And I’m breaking at the seams
And I’m shaking in my sleep
And I’m falling down deep
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Gelfling Durham, UK
Music that I make in my bedroom.
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